Sunday, June 23, 2013

The Reason I'm attracted to Guy-Love...

Why do I love male/male love or bromance stories? I can only assume it's because of something I saw outside my bedroom window when I was 4 years old. There was a chain-link fence separating our property from our next door neighbor's. From my window I could see into their back porch and yard. My window was open and I heard something I had never heard before and it was coming from next door. I went to peek around my curtain and saw two of my neighbor's teenaged sons weeping in each others arms. The middle son was about 18 and the youngest was around 16. They were sobbing so hard together. I had never seen men hug each other, let alone cry, and let alone in each others arms. I was later to learn they were grieving over the loss of their 2-year old niece who had drowned in a boating accident. I was mesmerized. I could not tear my eyes away from them. If they saw me, they did not care. Something about this scene struck me in my heart and has stayed with me ever since. Two brothers loving each other enough to comfort each other like that. It was a very powerful scene for a little girl of only 4. I never forgot it and ever since then I've come to realize it has paved the way for more of the same.

When seeing men love each other, not afraid to touch, to hug, not afraid to weep in each others arms, this to me is a sign of being comfortable enough in their maleness that they can do this without fear. It is incredibly empowering. A former friend of mine (she ended the friendship when I told her I was beginning to stand up for Gay rights) once said, "Real men don't act like that." I sort of looked at her weird, and gave her something to think about; "They do if they face death together every single day they're on their job. Police, firemen, soldiers... if death is hovering, you better believe they'll get a bit more touchy-feely with each other. After all, they're putting their lives in that person's hands." I remember a captain of a troop in Iraq during the Kuwait war pepping up his boys and do you know what he told them? He said that the person who would get them through the upcoming battles were the ones standing right next to them. "Look around you. The men standing next to you are the ones who will get you through it. Remember that." When you care about someone you will face death to make sure they make it. I remember seeing live footage on the news of a policeman trying desperately to bring his partner back to life with CPR. When the paramedics came he kept shouting for his partner to make it, to please live. But when they couldn't save his partner, he broke down in sobs into the arms of another police officer. Right. Real men don't act like that. *rolls eyes*. 

Why do women need to see this, experience it, feel it? Because we're emotional beings. We need to see things from the heart as well as from the physical. When seeing those brothers hugging and weeping in each others arms at that age, it stayed with me. 

So, my question is this: What brought you to love Guy-love, either in the Bromance or Romance area? I would love to hear your story. What does it do for you and do you have a specific area in your life that you can pinpoint and say, "There! That's when I discovered Bromance or Male-love for the first time."

It wasn't until 1996 after getting my first computer and discovering 'fan-fiction' that I realized I wasn't alone in the world, that I wasn't crazy. That there were other women out there who felt exactly as I did. It felt like I had found a family, people who understood my emotional dependence on this form of love. Tell me your story! I would love to hear about it. :D


  1. I am an author and because I write dramatic fiction (be in historical, saga, contemporary, etc) I am interested in the complexities of people and their relationships.

    After finishing my first five book series, I realized that, not only had I made the last in the series a gay historical fiction/gay romance but that all five books had at least 1 gay or lesbian character, even if they played a small part. Half of the fourth book dealt with gay coming of age. I asked myself why and realized it was because I have always had gay and lesbian friends, along with straight friends. People. People are simply that.

  2. Excellent story, Caddy. Thank you for commenting. ;-D I also love the fact that you asked yourself the question 'why?' and you found the reason was it's been something you've always been around. Thank you for sharing! :D